never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
