Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
