i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
