He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
