fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
