Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
