I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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