Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
