I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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