I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Let's paint friendship bongs
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
