You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
