Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
