Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
this boner is exhausting
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I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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