So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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