I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My vagina just clenched in fear
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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