Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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