they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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