y did u give ur computer a hand job?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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