on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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