If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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