At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
