Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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