The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
