We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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