Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
