who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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