She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
