he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
