It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
