Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
