The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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