the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
