Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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