Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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