**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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