Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
