My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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