i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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