im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
