i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
last night I used snow as a chaser
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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