I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
