There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
