Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
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Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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