it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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