btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
