I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
