So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
