no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
