he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's blow job season.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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