So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
