someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it was like his penis was on wheels.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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