We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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